The November membership meeting was held at the Ramada Inn Mandarin with 14 members & guest in attendance
(including four past-Presidents: DeCicco, Dove, Hartley, & Pittman). After the treasurer’s & secretary’s reports were
accepted, the main business item was the nomination and election of officers for year 2014. The Nominating
Committee presented the following slate that was elected unanimously:
President - Ralph DeCicco Directors: Loretta Hartley
Vice-Pres. - Chuck Pacetti Mike Ross
Secretary - Vincent Marino Donna Gilmore
Treasurer - Tonya Steele Dave Gouge
The evening’s guest speaker, Keith Harper, FRSA-SIF Safety Consultant, was then introduced and he immediately
launched into his presentation on the new OSHA HazMat requirements. He gave background on the need for
changes, the major changes (hazard classification, labels, safety data sheets and information/training) legislation
mandates, documentation, and the need for training by December 1st.
After fielding numerous questions, he was praised for his years of service to the industry by DeCicco & Pittman.
When asked about his upcoming retirement, he said it’s time for fishing!
Yes I am a senior citizen…
GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE: “Good morning...At present we are not at home, but please
leave your message after you hear the beep. Beeeeeppp....If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select
the option from 1 to 5 in order of "birth date" so we know who it is. If you need us to stay with the children,
press 2. If you want to borrow the car, press 3. If you want us to wash your clothes and do ironing, press 4.
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5. If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6.
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7. If you want to come
to eat here, press 8. If you need money, press 9. If you are going to invite us to dinner or take us to the theatre,
start talking....we are listening!"
And then the fight started…
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic type
and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your
dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me
a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet,
please advise." And then ….
News, Blues, & Other Things…
I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. Don’t forget to
put Fido on your holiday gift list! According to the American Humane Association, 40% of dog owners and 37%
of cat owners in the U.S. hang Christmas stockings for their pets. Men are like mascara; they usually run at the
first sign of emotion. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked
for forgiveness. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember the Fire Department usually uses water. I got a
job at a bakery because I kneaded the dough. W.C. Fields, “I never drink water because of all the disgusting
things fish do in it.”
Just around the corner…
Sunniland Roofing Supply Jacksonville: Friday, December 13th from 11:00 am until 1:00 pm open house. There’s
going to be bar-b-que ribs & fried fish with lots of door prizes. Please RSVP Shay at 448-0623 so he can make
sure they have enough food and prizes for you.
Alzheimer’s and the Roofer…
Gary, 85 and a retired roofing contractor, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old dancer. Since her new husband
was so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Gary should have separate bedrooms, because she
is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself they spend the entire night together. After
the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the
knock comes, the door opens and there is Gary, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All
goes well and Gary takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Jenny hears
another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Gary. Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised,
Jenny consents again. When the newlyweds are done, Gary kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and
leaves. She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it Gary is back again, rapping on the door and
is as fresh as a 25-year old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Gary gets
set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform
so well and so often. You are truly a great lover, Gary.' Gary, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says:
'You mean I was here already?'
Worker’s Compensation Rates…
appear to be stabilizing. Below are some of the rates that are commonly applied in the roofing industry.
Source: Frank Furman Insurance Co.
It’s all in the marketing…
This has to be one of the best ads ever conceived. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play.
I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights
lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get
home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.... Call (404 875-6420 and ask for Annie, I'll be waiting.
Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society. If you’re considering a new pet for the
family this coming year, there are scads of needy and loving critters in shelters and rescue organizations. Our
very own Pavel & Ivana of Bohemia Roofing will help, they have 11 dogs & 2 cats in their rescue compound with
lines to other local agencies.
My Redneck Girlfriend Sandy on driving etiquette…
#1-Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
#2-When approaching a 4-way stop, the vehicle with the biggest tires always has the right of way.
#3-Never tow another car using panty hose & duct tape.
#4-When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
#5-Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral parade.
The Affordable Boat Act…
The U.S. government has just passed new legislation termed the “Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every
citizen must purchase a new boat by April 15, 2014. These affordable boats will cost an average of $100,000 each.
This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees,
maintenance or repair costs. This law has been passed because until now only wealthy and financially responsible
people have been able to purchase boats. The law ensures that every American can now have a boat of their own
since everyone is truly entitled to one. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 free
life jackets, not including monthly usage fees. In order to make sure everyone purchases a boat, the cost of owning
a boat will increase between 250% and 400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that
other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain their boat will
be regularly fined. Children under the age of 26 will be allowed to use their parents’ boat to party on until they turn
27 when they then must purchase a boat of their own.
If you already have a boat you can keep it unless the government determines that it doesn’t meet their standards
as a good boat, in which case it will be taken from you and you will be required to purchase one from the new
government Boat Vessel Exchange (BVE) on its new website. If you don't want or don't need a boat, you will be
required to purchase one anyway. Should you refuse to buy one, or can't afford one, you will be annually charged
a penalty or a tax – call it what you want - until you do.
Failure to use the boat will also result in penalties/taxes. People living in the desert, inner cities, or other areas
with no access a suitable body of water are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, lack of experience, or lack of
nautical knowledge, are not acceptable excuses for not using your boat. A government Boating Review Board
(BRB) will decide when, where, how often, and for what purpose(s) you may use your boat. The BRB will also
determine how many people may ride in your boat and whether or not you are too old or not healthy enough
to be permitted to use your boat. Finding that your boat has out lived its usefulness and if you must purchase
additional accessories or a newer and more expensive boat, will also be accomplished by the BRB.
Those that can afford yachts will be required to purchase one and incur additional sales and use tax, after all,
it's only fair. The BRB will also allocate names for each boat. Failure to comply with any of these rules and
regulations will result in fines and possible imprisonment.
Lastly, Government officials are exempt from the Affordable Boat Act. If they want a boat, they and their families
will be provided with one free of charge at the expense of taxpayers. Unions, bankers, and large corporations
with the appropriate political affiliations are also exempt.
Thoughts on the ACA…
Overhauling America’s $2.7 trillion health sector is no easy matter. In the world’s biggest economy nearly
50 million people, or one in seven, are uninsured. America spends 18% of GDP on health care. The people of
Britain, Norway, and Sweden, to name a few, spend half as much but live longer.
Top 10 Bad Caddy Comments…
# 7 Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?.”
College Football Southern Style…
How do you know if a Mississippi State football player has a girlfriend? There is tobacco spit on both sides of
his pick-up truck. Bear Bryant, “It’s kind of hard to rally around a math class.”
Law of Commercial Marketing…
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
News, Blues, & Other Things…T
The girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
Of the top ten most frequently cited OSHA standards specific to the roofing industry, fall protection citations
account for more dollar penalties than all others combined. Out of a total of $8.17 million in roofing citations,
$4.16 million involved fall protection. In fact, fall protection citations in construction are OSHA’s number one
most cited violations across all regulated industries.
Dear Abby: I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.
Avocados have the highest calorie of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.
When I took my pre-induction physical they told me I had type-A blood, but it was a 'Type-O'.
On January 1, changes in the way R-values for polyisocyanurate insulation are calculate will take
effect. Section 18 of the Occupational Health & Safety Act of 1970 provides allows for states to develop &
operate their own safety & health programs in the work place allowing them to opt out of federal OSHA
enforcement. There are currently 22 plus states and/or territories operating complete state plans including
California, Illinois, Michigan, new York, and also five additional states that have safety plans covering their public
People Want To Know…
Q: Steve Steele: Why is it so hard to solve a redneck murder in Tennessee?
A: First off all the DNA is the same and secondly there are no dental records.
Q:John Moore wants to know why were the Indians here first?
A: Obviously, they had reservations (you old Nole you!).
Dick Pittman’s Marine Corps Exercise Regimen For People Over 50…
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room on each side. With a 5-lb potato
bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides. Hold them there as long as you can. Try to
reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags. Then try 50-lb potato bags, and then eventually, try
to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full
minute (I'm at this level). After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
The American Medical Association’s take on the ACA…
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot
of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the
Ophthalmologists considered the idea short sighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the
Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists
could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed
it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow. The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole
new face on the matter". The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at
the whole idea. Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have
the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the axxholes in
Northeasters in the Media…
Paparazzi be damned! The NEFRSA made the Affiliates’ Corner in the November issue of Roofing Florida.
Look for the innocent on page 21, they include Jerry Rowe, Loretta Hartley, Doug Schultz, Gary Burger, Pavel
Ruthkowski, Donna Gilmore, Ivana Hudulova, Todd Brown, Ralph DeCicco, Gary Register, Donna Dove, & Dick
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family of Jim Miller, Past president of this organization during 1995.
Jim was a longtime employee of Benton Roofing and was an avid motorcyclist ever espousing the virtues of a Harley-Davidson over any other make. A memorial ride is in the offing. As soon as more information is available,
we’ll let you know.